I feel like a mess this week.
I was so proud of myself last week because I wrote and published three blog posts three days in a row. Yay meeting goals!
But then Thursday was an extra long day and I was too exhausted and busy.
It was okay, though. I knew stuff was going to come up. I knew it wouldn’t always go smoothly, especially in the beginning. And besides, I had a three day weekend coming up. I figured I could spend the whole weekend writing and coding. I did
I did not anticipate feeling crappy and tired all weekend. I ended up getting very little done. And that trend continued through the beginning of the week.
I’m trying not dwell on it, though. I could have gotten so much done. But I know I must have been tired for a reason. Maybe it’s good to have a lazy, do-nothing weekend once in a while.
What really bugs me about it is that I had ideas for what to write. I just hit a wall of exhaustion every time I tried. Yet, for each day I miss writing, I feel like I have fewer ideas. They seem to fade away and dim in my memory. Writing is the best way to generate ideas and have something to write about. I know it’s true, but somehow I always need to be reminded.
I know that the best thing I can do is make a conscious effort to write and publish a post today and do some coding practice. That’s why I wrote the rough draft for this on my lunch break and used my break to type it up on my phone (to make more time for coding).
It’s not all bad, though. I don’t want to focus on my lack of productivity. That doesn’t do me any good either. To think of that time as wasted is to devalue it. I don’t want to foster that kind of negativity. I still had a good weekend. I slept and relaxed. I got my hair cut and went on a date with my husband (which is not something we get to do often) to celebrate my recent promotion. I got to spend time with a friend on Sunday, and on Monday my mother-in-law came to visit. These are all things that add value to my life, even if they don’t relate directly to my immediate goals. I don’t want to negate that.
Photo by Ryan McGuire www.gratisography.com/